Saturday, January 28, 2012

Life Chapters...

I won't pretend that it's been easy coming back to "nothing" - no job and no home, isn't that what they call freedom?  Once upon a time I thought so too, but in reality it isn't.  I'm adrift on the sea of unknowness, in transition, waiting for the next chapter of my life to unfold.  Actually the next chapter has already started but it feels like a very bumpy ride so far.

I have been doing a bit of house sitting, spending a lot of time on the internet and a lot of time trying to decide where I now fit and what feels right.  Thing is nothing feels right.  I miss my lovely little cottage by the river.  I miss it so much, it was my sanctuary, my retreat.  I would wander down to the river to contemplate, usually with a glass of wine in hand, now I have nowhere special to do that sort of thing and I miss it.  I have no home of my own.  House sitting for other people I've decided is not for me, packing and unpacking every two weeks is not fun and then you stress where to go next when you have a gap before the next sit starts.

I was back in Wellington (Hutt Valley) by default.  That's where I was last, that's where I knew where things were, where my friends and support people reside.  It's familiar.  Funny thing is the more time I spent there, the more I felt I didn't want to be there.  It didn't fit anymore.  I'd changed, I'd moved on emotionally and energetically.  So on 24th January I left Wellington.  After 15 years there I felt my time had come to move on, to open myself up to the next chapter that is unfolding.

Those 15 years have seen the most heartbreaking of times for me and the most rewarding and growing times.  I've done so much, met the most amazing beautiful people and experienced so much.  I'll miss having my good friends, loyal clients and support network right there on my doorstep but a new phase with lots of new journeys and more beautiful people is before me. 

So in the meantime, I'm staying with family in Hawkes Bay and looking for temping work.  All going well Brent and I will be off back to Bali to see the children June/July this year.  I'm about to start a website design course that I'm VERY excited about and will look at the TESOL course once that's done.

I'm excited and open to what is ahead, wherever that may be.  Watch this space...I'll keep you posted...

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